Don’t be BITTER, be BETTER.

“……..Hello”. “Hey Damien, it’s Wini”.

I’d secured Damien’s number, simply by outright asking for it. We’d been chit chatting here and there (via social media), and he seemed like someone I’d find interesting. I’d be lying if I said I was the type of girl to just sit around, and wait around for a guy to ask me for my number. I was curious about him, so I asked for his.

I was laughing/smiling throughout our first phone conversation. I think I even missed my bus stop and ended up having to walk back on myself. We both had a silly sense of humour, was into fitness, old skool Hiplife music and the banter was too lively. We had also both been through some unfortunate life issues.

After this conversation, we pretty much started frequently texting and conversing via phone calls. At night we’d be yapping for hours, and we’d not run out of things to talk about. Anyone that knows me well, knows that I am not a major fan of phone conversations, so to have me on your line for 3-4 hours + really is a miracle.

I’d wake up to lovely “good morning” texts, and random “thinking of you” messages (coincidentally received at the perfect time e.g. on my break at work when the day prior to the text had felt stressful) and a cheesy grin would appear on my face.

One Friday evening, I was getting ready to meet up with my girl for dinner. I messaged him and asked if he was free that evening. At first, he said no, however, long story cut short, here I was waiting for Damien to come out of Marble Arch station, after a lovely catch up with my girl.

Mate, he had a very BUFF smile. His aura automatically made me feel comfortable, and immediately we had linked arms and were walking through busy West End, on a Friday night, to destination Unknown. Why we both felt so comfortable with each other so quickly, I’ll never know.

We ended up at a random Funfair thing, in Leicester Square, and he somehow managed to get me on a ride (I hate rides with a passion so it sure took a lot of convincing for such to occur). Afterwards, we ended up grabbing a quick bite to eat at the O2, North Greenwich.

For an unplanned link up, it was a calm but memorable one. We both felt comfortable around each other, the chemistry was there, banter was there and we were behaving like 2 teenagers in public. * shrugs *

Fast forward to about 2/3 weeks later, on Boxing Day I took him to 1 of my favourite Moroccan restaurants, as he’d previously stated that he hadn’t tried Moroccan food before.

That week was a good one. He was off work, and so we spent the majority of that week chilling. Fast forward some more, and then Damien started to change.

All of a sudden Damien was “too busy”. Work, and gym were often his usual excuses. Funny that, as he still had time to link up with his “boys”. “Missing you” messages became extinct, and when asked what was up a response like “I’ll say I miss you, you’ll tell me you miss me too and then what? I’m the type of guy that doesn’t dwell on things that cannot be changed”. Oh?

By this time, we had not seen each other for almost a month. Communication had become slack, and on the whole, it was clear to see that he’d obviously lost interest.

Anyways, his birthday was now around the corner. We had agreed to link up for dinner. Prior to this day, I’d got him a small gift. I knew he would spend the majority of the day with his family, so we probably wouldn’t link up until 5/6 pm. How wrong was I?

That Sunday finally arrived. At around 2pm, he messaged me to let me know he was out with his family, and that he’d most probably be finished by 6pm. “That is kind of late” I told myself, considering that I also had a belated Christmas work do to attend that evening. I messaged him back letting him know that if he was going to be with his family until late, he should let me know and I’d meet him up somewhere (I just wanted to give him the gifts and then go to my work do at this point). He acknowledged my message.

Long story cut short, he never hola’d at me. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact that he saw a missed call from me around 7pm, I doubt I would have heard from him that day.

I sent him a snapshot of the gift bag, and looked at my what’s app as I was fobbed off with numerous petty excuses as to what had happened that day. I flung on my Ruby Woo lipstick, put on my heels and attended my work do. I really enjoyed myself that night.

After that, I did not wake up to my usual “good morning” messages. I also did not bother to contact him. After over a week I called to see if all was well, only for him to tell me that he’d stopped messaging me to see how long it’d take for me to contact him? So, I was now being tested FOR WHAT? He also did not understand chose not to understand why I was not impressed with the birthday situation, and eventually gave me a “sorry”, just for the sake of saying sorry, without fully acknowledging the wrong doing.

Anyways, during the course of his change of character, my interest had vanished. Looking back, there were signs here and there that I probably chose to ignore. That was probably due to the fact that I’d really connected with Damien when we first started conversing, and so I assumed that eventually, that the same warm-hearted Damien would return. I’m sure I’m not the only person on this planet that has made the mistake of thinking that someone will change, even when they start consistently showing you their negative side.

‘Til this day, I still believe that Damien was a good guy. Yes, he was a coward, and should have just been honest if he had suddenly lost interest, but that does not necessarily make him a bad person. It just means he was not the right person for me. I do not have any bitterness towards him. If anything, I learnt a lot about myself. It was also the first time that I had had such a connection with guy (at the start anyways), and it made me realise that there is such a thing such as meeting someone and INSTANTLY connecting (no matter how short-lived this connection may have been). Hopefully in the near future, I’ll have a lifetime connection, with someone worthy of me.

After this happened, I went through a short period were I felt like maybe I’m “too nice”, and needed to change how I am, in order for people guys to not take the piss. However common sense prevailed, and I realised that there is no need for me to change my ways. There are already a lot of bitter angry people out there in the world, and I do not have any intention of becoming just like them. Someone out there somewhere is probably praying to meet an individual like myself, however I’m just fully focusing on bettering myself in every possible way.

There’s no point in me being BITTER, when I know I’m BETTER.

Status/Image taken from Angel Ramirez-Jordan via Facebook
Status/Image taken from Angel Ramirez-Jordan via Facebook
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3 comments

  1. Hmnnn. What a lovely story. Finally, Winnie is beginning to let off some steam. I like the fact that you didn’t make bad comments about him, but then do you think it was all his fault?
    Maybe you did something to him, and being a coward as u rightly said, he couldn’t face u to admit it to you. I think most times, ladies make a mistake of hoping a guy will change. Ladies mostly love with all their heart, but a guy will always give room to find another girl, who’s prettier or better than his current gf, forgetting the fact that there are million guys better than him. Anyways, goodluck to you Winnie.

    1. Thanks Yusuff! I don’t feel like there’s any need for me to make a bad comment about him, as I do somehow genuinely feel that he was a good person, he just didn’t make good choices towards the end. I don’t think I did anything to him, but its easy for me to say that, as only he’d be able to give a solid answer in regards to that. However, I don’t need any answers from him etc as I’ve moved on. All one can do is learn from every experience. 🙂

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