The past month or so has genuinely been bliss. I have actually reconnected with myself in a way, that I probably cannot fully describe via words. Nevertheless, I always say that the mind is a powerful tool, and through this tool I have managed to change the way that I look and feel about myself. It obviously wasn’t a process that was done overnight, but I’m definitely in a very good space right now. It will REMAIN this way.
My previous insecurities have faded away. The things I previously felt unconfident about (body wise), I have slowly come to love & you know what? Those things make me, ME and there are no other me’s on this planet Earth *flicks locs*
Either ways, when you’re mentally & internally confident, you naturally start to ooze confidence no matter what. No one can shatter that confidence, or attempt to mock previous things that you were previously insecure or disliked about yourself. You posses a NEW POWER that NO ONE can knock down, unless YOU start to doubt YOURSELF. In other words, NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU (ME) SHALL PROSPER *cheeky grins*
Say hello to the upgraded carefree me……
Anyways, a few weeks ago, I hola’d at my boy Yusuff, just to check up on him. After receiving my message he responded saying that I’d popped into mind earlier on during that day. In my culture if you think about, or mention someone’s name and then shortly after that train of thought, you bump into him or her, or they contact you, that means that that individual will live long. Due to this, I told him that this meant that I’d live long. He jokingly responded, “ Long enough to see you get married!’
For whatever reason Yusuff is under the impression that I am “hard to please” & that it will really take a guy with a lot of guts to crack my nut (Erm… maybe my choice of words are a bit but you get my point). Nevertheless, although I KNOW he is going to read this (as he is a supportive friend that subscribes to my posts) it’s time I clear it up, in black and white.
I have STANDARDS, plain and simple. When I look back on a lot of things, I lowered these standards in order to be accepted by males (who in the end proved that they were unworthy to begin with). At the time, I suppose there was some kind of fear about losing these people, who to be honest, brought nothing but unnecessary stress to my life & branded it as “LOVE”. I allowed silly things to happen because at that time, I hadn’t fully grasped my WORTH & POWER. Now that I have GROWN up and truly know who I am, I will not be settling for anything LESS than what I DESERVE. How I see it, it is not me that has to be accepted by a man. HE has to be ACCEPTED BY ME. Due to this, I probably will remain single for a while, but I DO NOT FEAR THIS AT ALL. It is FEAR that forces people to rush into things, or simply settle. I certainly am not apart of the I “may not find someone” congregation.
I will eventually come across that lucky young man who deserves a QUEEN like me, however, at this present moment of my life, i’m not worried about this. If anything, all I would really like to do right now is sip Coconut water, straight from a Coconut, in the Motherland!
I REALLY LOVE MYSELF, and I understand that to some people that may come across as a bit “over the top”, but frankly, I DO NOT CARE. If you don’t love yourself, who else is going to love you? (Minus your parents/family) There are some males that will try and rubbish you with the “your standards are too high” nonsense, simply because THEY DO NOT MEET YOUR CRITERIA. Either ways, those ARE NOT the type of guys that I’d even want to entertain, so that is fine.
I will allow the other women from the “Twitter Husband Hunters Association”, to continue to tweet about how they “do not expect anything from a man just so long as he is theirs”, to keep on taking these unworthy guys, knowing that my future KING will FIND ME, SOMEDAY.