IGNORANT VIEWS THAT MANY GHANAIAN MEN HOLD ABOUT WOMEN & MARRIAGE.

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Above, is a message that I posted up on my Instagram (@Miss_Boansi), late last week.

So, what was the reason/annoyance being this post, I hear you ask?

Well, since I have been here in Ghana, it seems like everyone and his wife has taken an interest into my love life (or lack of it I should say). I’m often told about how “beautiful” I am, and this followed up by the usual nosey personal life questions. Last week alone I probably had to deal with about 5 different conversations about marriage, or why I am not dating. Some I entertained more than others.

Often, if not all the time, when I express my views on dating, relationships, or marriage, Ghanaians refer to me as an “Obroni” (white person) and then continue to belittle my opinions by saying that because I’m “white” or “not from here”, my opinions are basically unimportant.

I’m a cool & calm person (overall), but I contain a few teaspoons of feistiness. Please DO NOT think that I will sit there, and smile, when you try to bombard me with your IGNORANT and OUT-DATED thoughts about a woman’s “duty in life”.

 

“A woman receives the ultimate blessings from God, once God blesses her with a man for her to marry. Her life now has value, as she would have then found her “best friend” for her to marry and start/build a life with. A woman’s life is about marriage and having kids. Aside from this being a blessing, it also makes her fit to be apart of society”.

 

                 – This quote was taken by 1 of the conversations that someone attempted to have with me last week. The key word is ATTEMPTED. Let me educate you on something. Aside from my looks that many like to point out, God also blessed me with something called a BRAIN. Yes, I am a WOMAN, however I was not put on planet Earth just to marry & pop out kids. There are many women out there who indeed feel like finding a man “makes them complete”. Good for them! However, I AM NOT that type of lady.

I am already complete as an individual. Whenever I DECIDE TO SETTLE DOWN THAT LUCKY INDIVIDUAL WILL ADD TO MY HAPPINESS AND WILL NOT BE THE SOLE REASON AS TO WHY I AM HAPPY! I am confident and secure enough as a lady to know that my WORTH is not tied to a man LOL! I have been in Ghana for what feels like 5 minutes. I’m still not 100% familiar with my city and yet I should be dating, married, and have kids by now?? According to whose time? These the same people spewing all this rubbish about “receiving God’s blessings”, are the same morons that fail to understand that dating/relationships, marriage, and kids will come at “God’s chosen time” (for those of you that love to season your ignorance by bringing God’s name into it).

I would love to think that not all Ghanaians (living in Ghana) have this mentality, however, it seems like the majority do. Where this thought process comes from is beyond me, but there is nothing more annoying than you trying to enlighten someone about something and they shut it down and belittle you just because you so happen to have been born and bred in another country. I did not decide to be born in the UK, however it happened. God decided that I should be born & raised there (laughs in religious sarcasm) the same way that your God clearly decided to give you a very narrow mind, and has you thinking that for whatever reason, because you have a penis you “complete”/ will “complete” a woman’s life……..   I pity any woman that will end up with such an ignorant thinking man. That is probably the same type of man that thinks a woman’s role is solely in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning, and that he shouldn’t help out in the house or participate in looking after the kids because that is a “Woman’s job” side eye. These empty-headed thinking fools that do not bring anything to the table apart from the useless thing in-between their legs (which probably cannot even be operated accordingly but “as a woman” you have to just settle with any useless guy in order to receive blessings right?) Really do have the most to say on this matter……

The last straw for me was when I was conversing with a gentleman (work purposes) and he said to me, that it is a “TABOO” for me to be turning 30 (in a few years time) and for me to not be married. Let’s just say, he won’t bring that topic up again…. BUT then again, with that stupid mentality he probably didn’t learn his lesson from my response. How can my fellow human being, have the guts to tell me that I am causing a “TABOO”, whilst doing what many Ghanaians/Africans do and using “God’s” name to back up ridiculous comments/statements. INCREDIBLE. I wholeheartedly DESPISE how so many people (MEN) use religion to control, insult, and belittle a woman’s life.

Unfortunately many women allow these types of men to get away with this, in fear of being seen as “Too know” (A know it all). I will not be apart of that statistic. There is no way that I will become those quiet women that are told how to live their lives, by brainless men who pull out these foolish rules from thin air. Nor will I ever want to attract, or settle down with any such man that holds such stupid opinions/beliefs.

The funny thing is that these men talking about how at my age I should be “settled down” are MUCH OLDER THAN ME AND ARE SINGLE THEMSELVES. WHY ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GO AND COLLECT YOUR BLESSINGS INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON MY LIFE HUH!? I do not want to hear any rubbish about a woman’s “biological clock” either, because that term is regularly used in order to scare women into doing things much earlier than they would like to. Too many p*ssy-men are scared of a smart-thinking woman that sees the world much differently to them. Due to this, they don’t feel in control and so they think that they can get into your head with their stupid thoughts.

Anyway, I will continue to be a smart thinking “White woman” that does not live for anyone else, but HERSELF. I WILL NOT be diving into a relationship anytime soon, nor do I plan on getting married/having kids ANYTIME SOON. I WILL DO WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT, HOW I WANT, WHEN I AM READY!!

 

Like the gorgeous Rihanna said….

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3 comments

  1. I really enjoyed your post and I completely agree. It seems like these men are actually insecure and scared of woman that are more successful and independent because they can not live without us but we are fine without them.

  2. Thank you so much for your post. I was falling deeply in love with a Ghanaian man. I was so blinded by my love for him that I failed to notice a lot of red flags. I am opposed to any kind of generalization about anyone., for any reason. However, reading what you wrote so eloquently, I definitely recognize simiarities to what you have experienced. I am starting to realize that he didn’t actually love me. He learned certain things about me and then mysteriously disappeared. I don’t think he could handle the strong, opinionated woman I am. Thank you for sharing your experiences.

    1. Thank you so much for reading. My sister, his loss. Sometimes we experience these things, so that we know what to avoid/not ignore in the future. The correct man for you will come into your life in due time, but for now, never change your strong character FOR ANYONE!

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