I recently had an interesting discussion with a beautiful young lady via Twitter. The conversation actually started when I saw her tweet that getting approached by a guy via social media, is a “no – no” from her. She went on to further explain that “if a guy can enter your DM’s via social media, then how many other women’s DM’s is he entering?” Although I understood that this was her preference, and we are all entitled to have our preferences, I also felt compelled to express my opinion on the matter.
How I see it, whether a man approaches you on the street, in a store, at church or on a beach, the chances that he has approached other women in the same manner is inevitable. I also think that quite a few of us look down (unintentionally?) on the idea of coming across likeminded individuals ON THE SAME SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES, THAT WE OURSELVES USE. Granted, there are many guys/women not worthy of our attention on platforms such as Twitter and Facebook, but these the same type of empty – headed vessels could EASILY approach us, at let’s say Church.
This brings me onto another point. I believe that many of us romanticize the “ideal place” to meet our potential partners, because we want the “How I met my partner” story to sound “prestige”. To some people, being able to tell their family & friends that they met their better half at a “networking convention”, is better than them saying that they met at a “drink up”. If that is the case, then you really need to question yourself on if you are looking for someone that you’re compatible with, or if you just care about image and scoring brownie points from your folks.
Someone could tell you that they met the love of their lives in church, and all of a sudden, their relationship becomes your “relationship goals”. You may now look down on someone else who met their partner via social media, because you don’t “rate it”. However, the funniest thing is that, we all do not know what goes on behind closed doors. The church couple that are now your “relationship goals” may actually be in an abusive relationship, and the “social media couple” may genuinely be happy.
Finding “true love”, can happen is various ways. I am often wowed when I read stories from people that for example just wanted a 1-night stand, but are now “happily married” and have a family, years later. This a perfect example of something being built in ways that you least expected.
Sometimes, what may sound, “politically correct” on paper, may not actually work for some people. What I am talking about is the idea of having to be friends with someone for years, in order for a relationship to work. Granted, I believe that forming a friendship is exceptionally important, but I DO NOT believe in some of these ridiculous time limits that many people like to place on everything. There are some people that were friends with their partners for 2-4 years before dating them, yet the relationship did not work out. There are also some people that were friends with their partners for 4-6 months, yet things worked out well for them.
We live in an era were most of us want a perfect “how I met my partner” story, rather than actually focusing on if the person themselves are right for us. By all means, have your preferences and keep your standards however “high” or “low” if it pleases you, but please understand this, if you look down or completely write off the endless ways of how “Mr Right” or “Mrs Right” will walk into your life, then you may be missing out on some fantastic potentials. Not everything in this life is as clear-cut as we may imagine.