Hello my beautiful Kings & Queens,
It has been a while since I’ve actually done a written post. As you can see, I’ve been predominately focusing on my vlogs, as well as the various things that life has been throwing at me, since April.
One of the interesting things about life is that there will ALWAYS be highs and lows. No matter what the situation is, there will always be something that you can take away from it. I’ve been through so many lows recently and as weird as this may sound, I am grateful for it.
During these various moments, I learnt a lot about some of the people that were around me at the time, as well as MYSELF. Let’s put it this way, you don’t discover who really has your back, until you have a wobble & you don’t truly know how strong you are, until being “strong” is the only option that you have.
I had spent a small portion of my time pondering over why certain people weren’t caring about me like how I would them. I am 100% loyal to people that are loyal to me. However, if you treat me like an option and only want to contact me when you’re bored and need some entertainment, YOU DO THE MATHS ON HOW I WILL NATURALLY REACT!
Folks are very quick to throw around the word “friend”, but when it is time to actually be a “friend” they are nowhere to be found. Due to this, I am rather grateful for the very few friends that I have. Quality not quantity.
Amongst the various examples of most people doing what they are good at (disappointing you in your time of need), I realised that in actual fact, what I needed to do was to remain true to myself. I at times found myself yearning for certain individuals care/attention, in which I had to recently pinch myself and ask “Wini, what the f*ck are you doing!?”
When it boils down to it, we all want to be loved. The idea of having someone that is down for you no matter what is comforting. It is also a blessing to be there for someone during their highs and lows, and building up on a deep bond. There is nothing wrong with wanting love, but there is everything wrong with knowingly seeking it from the wrong person. Doing so can leave you mentally broken, and you being disappointed in yourself knowing full well that the individual in question whose love that you so desperately seek would love you and treated you like royalty, IF THEY REALLY WANTED TO.
I mean let’s seriously think about this. If someone wanted to see you, they would. If someone wanted to talk to you, they would. If someone, wanted to get to know you, they would. If someone, wanted to take you out on a date, THEY WOULD. So, why continue to entertain someone whose actions show that they do not take you seriously? I’ve seen/heard some rather funny excuses over the past few months. “I’m not good with text messages”, “I’ve been busy”, “I’m not good with link ups”, “I forgot” (said on multiple occasions). Excuses, after pathetic excuses.
I laugh because for example, although I’m not a phone conversation person, if I’m interested, I will call. That’s an action. I want to get to know someone, so I make the effort to work on something that I’m not good at in order to do so. Yet, when these lames keep on going on about what they are not good at, and they do not make an effort to even fix up on these things, THAT IS SELF EXPLANATORY. Rather than focus on a person words, focus on their actions. Words are important, but if their actions are not corresponding, that is an obvious cause for concern.
I’ve now fully returned to solely focusing on myself, rather than wasting further precious time on any unworthy individuals. These folks may not fit, or be willing to fit my standards, but there are plenty of people out there that would. Until then, I’mma keep on doing me…